Sometimes I just wanted to release all the stress, all the heartache moment, all the harsh words that come to you from the loved ones, all the tough times that you gone through, all the memories that are too painful to recall, all the scars that leave on your body, all the sacrifices and efforts that was always made light of, all the ignorance and uncomprehending, all the fights, scolding, blaming, crying...

I know I couldn't. I'm not allowed. I'm not "qualified". and it is not understandable for a "kid" to have stress and problems. 

I could only hurt by the people that I love and close to. That's why Im so fragile in front of them and think that the people that I love are always the one who hurt me the most.

I try to be positive. I don't want to spread negativity to them. Can you imagine a negative person acting to be positive in front of others just to cheer them up? At the same time, they couldn't cheer themselves and act perfectly fine infront of others.

People will never know your pain. Your wounds. Your hardships.

They will only talk behind you and gossip about what they see but not understand it.

What I can do is only cry. Alone. Privately. Private place. Tears are my only way to release my emotions. I cry easily in front of my loved ones. I couldn't control.  I might look tough outside but I just cannot be the one in front of them. Crying is not allowed by them. I'll be more annoying and useless to them even I did well on things and give all I have. I'm weak and emotional. I'm tired. I'm tired sometimes.